For Fellow Cancer Patients

This blog is also for those who find it and are themselves similarly afflicted. While this is not meant to be a scientific journal, I hope you find the story and information presented both useful and encouraging. I'm also happy to look at comments and answer any questions I can as time allows, so feel free to email me at nuggetnoggin@gmail.com. To you in Good Health!

Brazil, Late January thru Mid February, 2010

In the third week of January, Amanda and I flew to Brazil for a 2-1/2 week vacation.  Prior to our departure from the time of my ER visit until we boarded the plane, my symptoms of the auditory hallucinations in my left ear consisting primarily of the "wawawawawawawawawa" effect I described on the "First Signs" page continued unabated for several days, then the symptoms seemed to temper down to the point where they would last just a few hours during the day then dissipate, and that continued until the time of departure.  Regardless, anytime i had the auditory hallucinations it made it difficult to think clearly, and when i was able to create a train of thought, it was very difficult to articulate my thoughts verbally.  However, I was happy to find after a couple days dealing with the symptoms that I learned to compensate and was able to think and communicate effectively.


The basic itinerary was to spend a few days in Rio, then fly to Florianopolis where we would be picked up by our guides for a 6 day bike trip from the highlands of Santa Catarina down to the coast and Florianopolis that we had booked (http://www.caminhosdosertao.com.br/?lang=en Amanda and I both recommend these guys highly--they have a range of tours and are great people).  After that, we would spend roughly a week in Florianopolis with my dear friends Brian and Paula and their two adorable kids.  Brian and Paula are dear friends of mine from when I lived in Boise, and Brian was on sabbatical in Brazil doing research in his area of study.   He and his family were taking a break renting a house near one of the 48 amazing beaches on the island.


In Rio, Amanda and I got a room at a hostel strategically located on the borders of two historic neighborhoods, Lapa and an old artisan community Santa Teresa located in the hills above Rio's downtown.  During the day we'd walk around exploring the various neighborhoods, and on occasion my auditory symptoms would surface, but generally only for a few minutes.
However, at night, the auditory symptoms would come on with a vengeance.  The room we were in consisted of all hard surfaces with the exception of the bed.  The walls were finished and painted concrete/plaster, and we discovered at the end of our stay that one of the transom windows looking out over downtown was broken which allowed an inordinate amount of street noise that would bounce all over the room, and which in turn seemed to trigger and exacerbate my auditory symptoms.  The first couple nights I was able to get through it okay and get to sleep, but our last couple nights, the symptoms seemed especially intense; to the point where the echoes I was hearing often sounded like people whispering in my ear or laughter (like on Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon).  On the second night of whispering and laughter, which happily was our last night in the hostel and Rio, I began to fear that I was losing my mind and couldn't be sure of what I was hearing.  The following morning we went to the airport where I kept hearing things I couldn't be sure I was actually hearing, and this continued throughout the flight.  I determined that if my symptoms persisted until the time we met up with Brian and Paula, I would implore them to take me to a doctor.  They have universal health care in Brazil, right?  Happily, by the time we landed in Floripa my symptoms were tempering down to just the "wawawawawawa..."

Our guides, Eduardo and Jonatha, met us at the airport.  We loaded our gear in the car and were off.  It was quickly apparent that both Eduardo and Jonatha are salt-of-the-earth people with hearts of gold as they pointed out highlights of Brazilian culture and the landscape they thought we'd find of interest on our journey up to Urubici in the highlands of Santa Catarina, and both Amanda and I are happy to be able to count them among our friends, now.  My symptoms dwindled to nothing on the ride up and would not return until I returned to Portland 2 weeks later.  As far as the rest of the trip goes, we spent 6 days riding 50-60km/day from pousada to pousada(a bed & breakfast, basically) meeting so many amazing and wonderful people along the way.  A lot of people in the countryside there produce their own liqueurs and their own version of the national liquor, cachaca (based on sugar cane), and are more than happy to share.  They also produce a lot of their own food.  Meat, vegetables, fruits, and some of the most amazing honey you can hope to taste.  By the time we got to Florianopolis, our legs were tired, but spiritually and mentally Amanda and I felt like a million bucks.
 

And that trend continued as I got to spend a week with Amanda and dear friends in one of the many beautiful spots the earth has to offer.  The week with Brian and Paula and kids was spent either walking a couple hundred yards to the beach, or traveling to any one of the other amazing beaches or cool little communities on the island.  And eating well.  It's nice having a house where cooking can be done, plus, they had hired a cook to come once a week and she fixed the most amazing seafood dishes while we were there.  Exceedingly pleasant and relaxing.

Here's the puzzler:  My doctors and I both believe that my tumor was in full effect and growing during this time, yet we're at a loss to explain why my symptoms stopped entirely for a couple weeks.  The poignant conclusion I draw from my experience in Brazil is that I became so relaxed and so filled with positive energy, that perhaps my body was able to somehow keep the symptoms from manifesting themselves.  It  would be interesting to know how my tumor was developing at that point.  Was it still actively growing?  Or did the profound lack of stress arrest the tumor's development, slowing it, perhaps even shrinking it during the trip?  It's impossible to say, but regardless it points to the fact that to improve one's chances of beating cancer, it's imperative to stay positive and upbeat.  It also indicates that all the support and encouragement one gets from loved ones helps as well, and speaking from experience on that score, I can say the bounce in my step I currently enjoy is derived in large part from the amazing support I've received from friends and family.  And as they continue to think of me and pray for me, I feel it and use it.  I'll be dancing a jig in no time.  The power of positive thought is an amazing thing: it nudges the universe in the right direction, and to my thinking nothing but good can come from it.

So to all my friends and family who have been thinking of me, praying for me, and encouraging and supporting me, I thank you.  It truly makes a difference.

7 comments:

  1. Hi Tim,

    Sounds like an excellent trip to Brazil! Nice pics, great friends, etc. When I read the story, my first reaction regarding the symptom-free period was immediately tied to the rather stout biking mileage each day. Just wondering if you've kept up with the biking thing or some other form of similar exercise. It might be interesting to try and replicate the mileage back here at home and see if the symptom-free condition can be repeated for some reason.

    Anyway, just a thought. Thank you for sharing your experience in this way. I'll look forward to each update!

    Hi to Amanda!

    Chris

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  2. That's a great point about the exercise, Chris. I've been doing some light running and riding at the direction of my doctors to improve and maintain my energy levels as that will help when I start chemo and radiation on July 8.

    After we got back I commuted to work daily by bike, 20 miles roundtrip, but certainly not the workload we did daily in Brazil--there were some steep uphills, and it was hot.

    There is a growing body of evidence that exercise can have a positive effect in fighting certain cancers. If I find good websites that cite that info, I will post the links on the Cancer Links page I'm working on.

    Thanks for your comment, chris.

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  3. Tim,
    I'll be thinking about you tomorrow. Positive energy and prayers are sent your way. Mind over matter. Keep your fighting spirit.
    Eileen

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  4. Thank you, Eileen. We're gonna take it to the mat. Feels great to keep moving forward.

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  5. I think there's a lot to be said for a positive attitude. Aside from the personal benefits that you mentioned, you'll get a lot of outside reinforcement. You have better interactions with doctors and nurses and whoever around you cares for you or provides treatment. I really believe it's contagious. And that will make your experience better, too.
    There will be times that it's tough to maintain... allow yourself to have that, as well. You've got such a good frame of mind. Dollars to donuts, you've got the mental game licked! The rest will follow!
    Hugs, ali

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  6. i think you're spot on, allison. generally, in my experience, what comes around goes around when it comes to attitudes, especially positive attitudes. if someone's difficult or negative, most people are likely to be the same in response, whereas if one's positive, then that creates a positive effect on others, sometimes even if they're a little negative. being positive and encouraging goes a long way. i've had a few moments in dealing with issues related to this where i dropped into angry rant mode, but i consider myself fortunate because i know what's happening: i just need to explore the anger or negative energy a little bit and get it out, and then i'm able to step back, relax, and look at the bigger picture and determine what i need to do next if anything. the next step often involves going for a walk or a run or a ride, and by the time the endorphins kick, the anger/negativity are forgotten.

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  7. Totally, Tim. I've had my fair share of the medical community over the last few years. I've seen a wide spectrum of med professionals from the best who go well beyond what's required of them to provide good care or service through the grumpiest, least helpful (makes you wonder why they do what they do!). My family happens to be pretty nice. My mom is a "kill 'em with kindness" pro! My sister and I were treated beautifully but I really believe, that part of the reason we got exceptional care was that we were upbeat, positive, able to joke a little, and good to each other and the wonderful people who were in it with us (like my parents and our husbands).
    After all, if your docs/nurses/techs/phlebotomists can connect with you on something - running, kids, treatment, whatever - they see you as more as a human and less as a patient. Life really is a two-way street... with hairpin curve here and there!

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